We Are Failing Us

What a week! Phew! Talk about exhausted but I am taking it all in stride because exhausted means that I have been working and that’s always a good thing. So! A couple of things I want to address one being R.Kelly and the other being dating, but the dating will have to wait!

I have gotten into a couple of debates on whether or not we should still listen to his music. I hear folks saying they can separate R.Kelly, the man, and R. Kelly, the pedophile. To me, it’s one of the same. I personally have not listened to any of his music for years once I started hearing the allegations. I am not going to start now. He is definitely a talented man and no one will ever take that away from him, but at what point as a community will we hold him accountable for abusing our girls? Is the CEO of a company who beats his wife off the clock, a genius still? Because he runs a company and makes a lot of money for his shareholders? Once he gets hit with those allegations, he will be asked to step down. The board of directors will not say, “what he does on his own time is his business.” Those allegations are bad for business period. So, why are we excusing R. Kelly? Why are we continuing to give him business and glorify him? We are failing us.

In a Facebook debate today, I had one guy even go as far as compare religion being a detriment to teens and sexual abuse. He said religion causes more psychological abuse than the abuse that R.Kelly has bestowed upon these young minority girls. Like, is this what we are doing now? Just because he made good music? Stir a new batch of Kool-Aid why don’t we. We are failing us. The argument that he was not convicted in the court of law and that there is no real evidence is sickening. Especially from Black people. My people. How many times has justice not been served when the black person was the victim? Don’t worry, I’ll wait…..

Decades later… nothing has changed. How much more evidence do you need? The marriage certificate to a 15 year old as a 27 year old man not enough? The countless testimonies from his family and team and the girls, not enough? Where there is smoke there is fire. These women are not getting paid to do this, to be subjected to criticism for the world. To be made a mockery of and told that they bought it upon themselves. But all we are concerned about is the fact, that he made good music. We are failing us. This whole situation just truly showed me where we are as a people and honestly, its just sad. But hey, he made good music.

-V.

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I’m Back and In Full Effect!

Hey Hey Hey! I am back!!! I know it’s been quite some time since I have written an entry. My page was set to private and I needed to take some time and regroup. But I am back y’all!! <— noticed my southern twang?

Life has changed so much since my last entry. Texas is still good, changed jobs and got promoted, meet some really great folks here and my son left for the military. Some things, however, were not so good. Lost relationships with my two sisters due to a major misunderstanding from something I wrote on my blog that they most definitely misinterpreted. Ended a friendship/sisterhood with another woman who I grew close to and referred to as a sister around the same time, got into a car accident, health issues, ended a relationship with someone I started seeing. Work began piling up, work place drama, you name it! All in 1 year! It was a rough moment and this is simply the surface of it all. I will dive deeper as the time comes. But for now, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger! I truly relate to the Phoenix rising from the ashes!

I learned so many valuable lessons in 2018 but the most important one was to be ok with how awesome and amazing I am despite who it threatens and makes uncomfortable. The right people will love all the things others were threatened by. Stand firm in who you are, stand in your truth, act with integrity and above all else, lead with love.

I almost allowed others commitment of misunderstanding me to stop me from something I held so dear. I am V. It took me some time, but I realized that I have put a lot of work into this and this has truly served as an outlet to be free and creative and no one should make me feel as if I can not be and live in my truth because it makes them uncomfortable. That was not, is not and will not be my burden to bear.

So, hello WordPress Fam! Happy New Year and I look forward to reconnecting with all of you again! There is so much more to come!

In love,

V.

Reflections For The Come Up

Hello Guys!! Long time no blog!

We have one more month of 2017 and I will say that I have learned so many life lessons. Some lessons are new, and some I got a refresher course in. Last year with my move to Dallas, things were great! I embarked on a new journey. I loved my job. Everything was amazing. This year started off just as amazing. I fell in love, I felt secure with my position in life and I thought, I just have to maintain and coast upwards. Easy breezy!

Lies.

Major lies.

Then came the summer. The second half of this ratchet year. It was one thing after another. Losing ties with people. Letting people with toxic issues go. Some good and some bad. Health issues, my job went through SEVERE layoffs. I was spared, but the result is stressful nonetheless. But I am staying a float. And lastly, as a mother, I am coping with my son’s mental illness. Teenageism. People get your kids vaccinated. ASAP.

eye roll

I want to share with you all some of my lessons that I learned in 2017. Being around new people and experiencing new things came with new lessons. So, here we go!

  1. Say less, observe more.
  2. You will not fit in everywhere. Non-acceptance is a blessing in disguise. Not everyone can handle you in all your humble glory. Envy and jealousy is real!
  3. Your coworkers are NOT your friends. Refer back to #1
  4. Allow your significant other to just be himself or herself.
  5. Communication is key. (oldie but goodie)
  6. It is perfectly ok to say no and walk away from what doesn’t serve your purpose.
  7. The way you think will dictate where you will go in life
  8. Sometimes the bad times are necessary and linger because the lesson God is trying to teach you, you have yet to grasp. I get this now. My turn around is here
  9. NETWORK!!
  10. Value the friends that you have. Near or far.

We are in November, the best month of the year! My birthday month! I plan to start my Christmas decorating THIS WEEK. And I don’t care about the rules! Make the rest of this month and December a positive one. Think positively. Breathe positivity. Live positive. Remember, if you are going through hard times, look for the good. Look for the lessons and that’s how you will find your come up.

riri crown

 

‘Till Next Time!

-V.

I Am….V

iam

 

I leap

Through fire through storms

Burned and near drowned

I was handed this platform

Now hand me my crown

 

I jump

Past hurt past insecurities

Painful and some depressing

Looking back they couldn’t stop me

All those lessons were simply blessings

 

I run

From heartbreak from tears

Broken hearts and disappointments

Revealed strength and eased fears

Ready now for real commitment

 

I love

With passion with dedication

Liberation and admiration

Ready to release these inhibitions

And embrace my transformation

 

-V.

Fairytale Gone Wrong

***Yet another poem in my archives…hope you guys enjoy! *** -V.

Fairytale 

Rapunzel

Where is my happily ever after

My knight and shining armor?

Did chivalry get lost in the woods

Or did my fairytale dream falter

Who is going to slay the dragon to save me

The fairest of them all

My prince is busy bullshitting with the breeze

And the ogres are risking their lives just for the fall

Far from the graces of which I held my head mighty high

In the tower that seemed too risky to climb

The prince is just too afraid to try

How can I get my happily ever after

When he is in fear of dying?

What happened to the bravery?

…Stories he sold at the round table

Kings would be ashamed for this is how they got their Queens

Or so goes the fable

Pride and fear is the name of the prince’s game

Along with arrogance and pure greed

The days of chivalry are long gone

I’m just sitting in the tower waiting to be free

As I watch my prince chase the whore

It doesn’t look as if my prince is coming to get me.

(It dawned of the princess her prince is royalty no more.

Where is the happily ever after in the end of the book

As I turn page by page I realize this prince just plain old shook)

love-prince-quotes-words-Favim.com-2289134

 

Not Your Dream Girl

Happy Saturday!

I wanted to share a poem I wrote a couple of years ago when I got frustrated with being let down in whatever relationship I was in. Now that I am back in the world of dating, or lack thereof, I found this and decided to post.

How many times have we heard that good girls finish last, or good guys finish last? It gets old when you are always finishing last. But I say, stay authentic. Stay true to your values and morals and in the right moment, the person will come along. 🙂 Who God has for me will be for me! #faith

Not Your Dream Girl

You are every man’s dream girl”
Biggest crock of shit if I heard it
Then why are you going to see “her”
If everything you want, I supposedly have it?
You are so amazing
Another line that makes me roll my eyes
If thats what it is, then why would you risk me being with another guy?
I love being around you and your personality is the best
Oh yea? Then why are you letting me slide past you and risk being passed up for the next?
I’m tired of hearing I’m beautiful and how funny you find me to be
I’m tired of being the best choice for some ideal
And quite frankly
I’m just tired of you not choosing me.

***

My friend told me when I read this to her years ago, that it sounded like lyrics to a song! Maybe I should look into song writing too…the possibilities. 🙂

-V.

Define Yourself

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself. – Harvey Fierstein

 

When someone shows you who they are, believe them. – Maya Angelou

Harvey Fierstein’s quote got me through a lot of rough times. I actually found this quote during my darkest days. Young, single mother, divorced. I had labels already. A family member even told me when they found out I was pregnant “Damn, your life is pretty much over.” When I got divorced and another person who was close to me said “Now that you are divorced with a kid, no man will ever want you.” Gee guys thanks. But what I did not let it do, was define me. It got me down initially and I became depressed and shameful, but I got up, dusted my shoulders off. Stuck up my middle finger to all of them and said “Oh yeah? Watch me win.” And that’s exactly what I did and still continue to do. Win. Despite of. I wrote this Harvey Fierstein quote on everything. I read it everyday and then I tackled on the world.

We live in a world where people live to define everyone else but themselves. They want to label you and place you in a box. We must not allow other people’s definition of who they think we are to define us. You are not gay, you are not black, you are not white, you are not Hispanic or what Trump calls Mexican rapists, you are not a thug, or white trash. Guess what we all are. Human. All these labels are never used in a good context. Do not let these labels define your self worth. Define Your Self!

Now on to Maya’s quote “When someone shows you who they are believe them.” This is not the same as labels or allowing someone else to define you. This is the person defining themselves and making it known. If that man you are dating says to you “I am no good for you, I don’t have it all together.” Guess what, believe him. If that woman says to you “Once your money runs out, so does my loyalty.” Yep, you guessed it, believe her. We tend to change our image of a person based on what we want from them or need to feel in ourselves. Know who you are then define yourself and watch other people’s actions to see if they fall in with your true definition of what you are about. Simple, yet such a hard lesson to learn.

-V.