vacation

V Went To Play

Last week, I treated myself to an extended weekend getaway to Miami. Let me tell you! It was just what the doctor ordered. I got to relax (more or less) but I got to spoil myself, surrounded by great friends, amazing food, the ocean air, sand, even more food and most importantly, time to rest my brain.

I felt it was so necessary for me to quiet my mind. I have been going a mile a minute since 2019 has began and I do not plan to stop anytime soon. I have a goal list that’s just about 8 items, but each individual item requires all of me. My undivided attention and diligence. I mean, these blogs aren’t going to write themselves! I can’t wait to be able to share my accomplishments as I meet them!

Here are some pics from my vacation and of course some of that amazing food I had!

One unconventional highlight from my trip was my trip to Publix. Yes, the supermarket! My bestie thought I was crazy! I was chatting with the baker and telling them how I happy I felt in that very moment. I should have grabbed a picture of the moment! A silly moment, but it was a genuine moment. Who knew Publix would be something I missed so much!

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Another big moment thus far that has mad a big impact on the start of my year was the 40 day prayer challenge in reading Draw The Circle by Mark Batterson.

If you haven’t read this book, please check it out. I learned how to pray with a purpose in addition to praying God- size prayers. Even after the challenge has concluded, I find myself still yearning to write in my prayer journal and circling. Just the other day, I picked it back up and kept on circling. The things I circled, God answered, almost immediately. I asked questions, truly not knowing what to do, He provided an answer. That quiet time that I devoted to praying allowed me to hear Him. In that, I feel that my personal relationship with God has strengthened. I am now researching another book to start my own personal prayer challenge for the next season of 2019. Being connected and grounded spiritually is a life changer. You see the world differently and you handle the world around you differently. I find myself extremely watchful of how I treat others, the words I speak and the thoughts I have. In this, I changed my current circle of people. Those who seek the negative in everything, I needed to distance myself from. I learned that I would adapt to this behavior and that would be further than where I am headed. If your circle doesn’t progress with you then you have to shed them or change their position in your life. As your grow, people will drop off. And THAT is ok.

There are a few topics I am working on to discuss with you all, one being colorism in the black community. I have had a few debates over this topic alone and never with any resolve. I plan on doing personal research with people that are all shades of brown! And I will come back with my personal experience, my research, and conclusion. If any of you have anything to add, please reach out to me! I want to hear it all! The good, bad and ugly.

Hope all my readers have an amazing week and finish off Black History Month 2019 (which hasn’t been that great honestly – another post I’m sure) strong!

‘Till next time.

-V.

The Apps

Alright y’all. I did it. Yes, I deleted all of my dating apps. I have unsubscribed, stopped payment, deleted profiles and removed them from my cellular devices. I deleted all of those ratchet dating apps. The Bumble, The Hinge, The Match. All of them. And yes, I said “The” in front of all of those horrid apps. Maybe I am being a tad bit dramatic, but I need you guys to understand that this was a big deal for me. I do not go out much and I have relied solely on dating apps on meeting people. It is time to break out of my comfort zone when it comes to dating and step outside of the box because after all, isn’t that where the magic happens? Here are a few reasons why I deleted them:

1. It was the same lame dudes on all of them. They all hit me up on each platform thinking I am a brand new person. Like really man? No, I do not have a twin.

2. It’s frustrating ‘clicking’ ( I use that term loosely) with someone and they disappear.

3. I meet someone, we seem to hit it off, then I realize, he is playing a game and or has a woman at home. I don’t know about you ladies, but I am not trying to reenact SZA’s Weekend song in real life. I ain’t no one’s weekend nothing bih.

4. I fear getting recognized by my new co-workers. The annoying IT guy at my last job hit me up on one of those less desirable apps, like The Tinder or The OKC. I don’t recall; however, it was another bad choice of joining listening to my younger friends who are more carefree and easygoing with dating. Lesson learned. The freaks hang out there. I am sanctified.

5. It felt like a full time job keeping up with all of the messages from the weirdos. Then I got concerned with hurting their feelings. This was not gonna work.

6. I wanted to focus more on myself and my goals and spirituality. Yes, I said spirituality. My chakras need to stay aligned at all times. Prayed up and Saged up in this piece/peace.

I do have some upcoming events which will allow me to be intentional in meeting guys, but it won’t be my overall goal… I’m lying y’all. I’m gonna be scooping eligible bachelors everywhere I go like a mutha. Discreetly, of course! I need to see what’s out there and compare to what I have seen on The Apps. It can’t be that bad in real life. But how will I know if I never go?

Stay tuned… more foolery will be upon us soon.

-V.

Making A Lemon Drop With My Lemons

back to work

It’s the last day of the best month of the year (I am a bit partial to my birthday month) and I have enjoyed a great week long vacation from work, if I count the days I haven’t been in the office it would be 10 glorious days. However, tomorrow December 1st, I am due back in. I am dreading the thought of walking back into the office. In the past 10 days, I have spent good times with my loved ones, due to the holiday and friends visiting from out of town. I learned to make a new dessert, White Chocolate Crème Brulee (which was to die for) even bought a cooking blow torch and got real fancy! I should have taken a picture of it! In my time off, I also got to brainstorm on my writing and devote my time to I am V and possibly other ventures. I even did a little henna. I got to truly focus on me. What a concept!

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Tomorrow bright and early, I will be going back to high school- opps I mean work and deal with the mean girls or cliques of my department. Don’t get me wrong I have so much to learn in my job and I honestly like what I do, I just don’t care for the meaningless politics and immature behavior of miserable people. It is also hard to want to do a great job when I am now disengaged at work. Repeated offenses of being labeled, provoked to act a certain way, then receive backlash when I don’t fall for the triggers, lack of direction to perform at my best, but consistently told how I am doing it wrong with more no direction. In occasions where I shine, I am being pushed aside. When I take on initiatives and begin to receive praise, my immediate supervisor finds ways to take it away from me and pass it on to his favs. Now, I have become that employee they tell you not to become in orientation. The disengaged one. I refuse to participate in “fun” activities. No Secret Santa for me (ain’t nothing secret about it), no pot-luck for me, nope I don’t want to do lunch. I stay in my lane and mind my business. But guess what? That is wrong too. I am still labeled as the bitter black woman. Now what? I don’t respond to the negativity and keep to myself, I am bitter. If I respond to it and become more assertive (Note I say assertive, NOT aggressive), I am bitter. If I brown nose and be fake, ignore when they talk about me and participate in bad mouthing others, then viola! I am a shoe in. What’s a girl to do? I always preach about remaining authentic. I can’t conform now. How can I become engaged as an employee and put my best foot forward and stay away from the negative behaviors? The million-dollar question. (I am open to advice!)

So, I use my writing as an outlet. I am more fueled by all of this to do better for myself and follow my dreams. I want to write. I want to be creative and leave that toxic atmosphere and step outside and breathe fresh air. No more labels. I want to simply be V. So everyday, when I go into the office, I remind myself (also have to continue reminding myself) that there is a bigger picture. I have a goal. I try to turn this negative into a positive. I am employed. I actually like what I do. I can learn from this and use my good and bad experiences from it to write. Good days, write. Bad days, write some more.

Last night, I was watching the Soul Train Music Awards, which I enjoyed! I got to hear some of the old songs that I loved when I was growing up. I listened to the acceptance speeches of the ones who received awards and I was inspired yet again. Jill Scott, Tyrese, Babyface. I am sure they all encountered difficulties and were pressured at some point to conform to society norms. Yet they all did not. All remained authentic to themselves, their beliefs and truths. At some point, someone told them they weren’t good. Someone tried to dull his or her shine. How do the greats become great? What are the daily practices of the successful? I thought of these things and realized I can’t give up now. I have to continue the fight and be true to my dreams. I guess tomorrow, I am going to wake up a little early and walk into that office with my head held high and morals in the space and thrive. Hey, I may even put on some red lipstick.

red lips

 

-V.