If my readers are anything like me, you may tend to struggle with trusting your intuition and discerning God’s voice and just plain old fear. There are times I feel as if I know for a fact that I know what it is I know and no one can tell me differently. Other times, I battle with what is right and what is indeed fear. We all have a fear of being hurt or failing. I think it almost healthy as weird as it sounds. Fear of failing can sometimes fuel or drive us to succeed. However, fear of getting hurt can be crippling, especially if you desire a relationship, a solid one at that. Let’s explore a scenario.

Meet Devon (only because I truly adore Megan’s husband) and Evita. They have been dating for about a month and things are seemingly going well. Evita is very guarded due to her past hurt but is open to love. Devon is also guarded but open and willing to put in the effort in finding a solid relationship. They go out often and he is very attentive and consistent in his pursuit of Evita. Evita, used to dealing with men who have not been consistent, is initially turned off by his pursuit because she isn’t used to this level of consistency however, she is praying and moving forward because she recognizes her annoyance as fear and adjustment to dysfunction. As she gets to know Devon, she is seeing that he embodies the qualities she desires in a man. However, recently she is noticing more inconsistencies in Devon. She decides on falling back on him. Is her decision based on fear? Or is she discerning less than genuine behavior from Devon with his recent inconsistency?

Let’s explore another scenario

Meet Stephen and Carla. They have been in a long term relationship for 3 years. Carla wants to get married and start a family. Stephen is reluctant because of their inability to see eye to eye on so many key issues such as raising a family, cultural differences and how to manage their finances. Carla speaks to her friends about his inability to commit to her and solidify their union. Her friends tell her that Stephen is probably seeing someone else. Carla starts to pick fights with Stephen and accuses him of cheating on her. Stephen accuses Carla of not facing the issue at hand and always wanting to sweep their issues under the rug. He ensures her that he is not cheating on her and truly wants to do the work to make their relationship work and suggests counseling. Carla refuses and breaks up with him. Is her decision based from fear or is she discerning?

I am curious to hear your feedback.

Everyday we have a choice. We can either choose to live in regret and in the past or we can make a choice to do better and to be better.

There are also times where we fight God’s voice because we simply want what we want. The biggest part is knowing the difference between fear and intuition. However, the only way to do so is to pray and to take chances and live like you haven’t been hurt and never failed. Easier said than done. Even I, struggle with this almost everyday. I struggle with this in my current dating life, my relationships with my friends, family members, in my career and with my writing. But everyday, I make a choice to be and do better.

How about you?

-V.