I walked in the door and dropped the keys and my purse on the kitchen counter. I kicked off my shoes and left them on the floor in the hallway. I walked towards the couch and pull out my phone. Maybe I should call Kayla. I quickly decided against it. I just don’t have the energy to speak about this dinner with anyone.
I need another drink.
I got up and poured myself a shot of Café Patron. I took a sip, griped the glass with both hands and exhaled deeply as I sat down on the couch trying to recap the dinner with Daniel.
I thought I was over Daniel. I haven’t seen or heard from him in a year. I went out on a couple of dates here and there, but I never took things too far. I agreed to have dinner with him simply out of curiosity. Now, it seems as if curiosity killed the cat. I am here confused over someone I was over months ago.
My phone buzzed.
I walked over and checked my notification.
“Hope you got home safe. Although the evening wasn’t how I thought it would play out in my mind, I am happy at the fact that I got to see you. Goodnight Evelyn.”
I started to respond, but I backspaced and left it at that. Knowing him he already saw the grey bubble appear and disappear.
Right now, I just need things to slow down and make sense to me. I honestly don’t know how I feel.
The phone buzzed again.
This time it’s Xiomara. “Girl, you good?”
“I’m good. Just exhausted. We will catch up at lunch tomorrow.” I replied.
“Night girl” she replies.
I turned off all notifications and turned the phone face down. I guzzled the rest of my Café Patron and headed to my bedroom to get some well-needed rest.
~~~
The morning at the office was a breeze. I had to give a presentation to senior management and it was flawless, so needless to say I am in a great mood, despite last night’s dinner.
I pulled up to Lime, a Mexican spot near the office, to meet with my girls to recap.
I looked and saw Xio and Kayla and waved to them as I got out of my car.
“Hey girls!” I said to both of them.
“Ohhh honey, someone is in a good mood…I wonder if that’s what we are going to talk about?” Kayla asked inquisitively.
“No, boo”, “I just had a great morning at work.” I replied.
“Ugh such a fun killer” said Xio.
I approached the cashier and placed my order. I am cheating today. I earned it.
“I am going to have Nach‘yo Mama’s Nachos with ground beef and all the trimmings! And a frozen sangria.” I told the cashier
“Well daaamn girl, forget your diet huh?” Kayla said.
“Yup!”
Kayla and Xio placed their orders; we grabbed our numbers and looked for an empty table.
“So, let forgo the chit chat and tell us what happened? I texted you and you never replied!” Kayla said.
Xio sat there sipping her frozen sangria and waved the attendant down for our food.
“Ok, so you know I was nervous as hell right? I wore my black dress with the royal blue pumps. I was going to wear red, but decided that wouldn’t be appropriate, don’t need him thinking I was trying to go all out, ya know?” I said.
“Right, the blue pumps are way more appropriate, wear the red ones in his bed instead.” Xio said with a devilish grin.
“No! I can’t with you girl!” I scolded her. We all laughed and I took a sip of my sangria and ate some food, in between bites, I continued.
“Anyway, he stood up”
“Where did you guys go eat?” Kayla interrupted.
“J. Alexander’s. Stop interrupting so I can finish, I only have an hour for lunch! Anywho, he basically wanted to apologize I guess and talk about our relationship and that we could have tried harder. He said he knows he wasn’t his best self, blah blah blah. He mentioned something about how he was going through something or issues that he didn’t want to get into, but that is precisely what I want to know about.”
“What did you say?” Xio asked.
“Well, I told him how I felt at the end of the relationship. I told him how I didn’t feel it was necessary to work things through now, because when we were in the thick of it I felt alone and as if was he no longer interested in me.” I took a slight pause after saying that.
I continued, “He wants to work on us now. I don’t know how I feel. A part of me wants to see what happens and see if he changes, but at my pace. And another part of me is scared of getting sucked in and hurt all over again. I’m scared to love him and I don’t trust him with my heart. But I must say, he looked so good. And his cologne. Lawd have mercy on my soul!”
“Jeez, get a grip Ev.” Kayla laughed.
“Well, you have every right to feel that way. I do commend him for manning up and talking to you in a mature way and not placing blame or yelling. For that he seems to have done some thinking. Danny that I know would have said, ‘F-It and next!’ He is coming for you Ev.” Kayla said.
“The way I see it is you don’t have anything to lose.” Xio said. “ Hear him out, go at your own pace and if he messes up one time…chuck up the deuces. We ain’t 25 anymore honey.”
“Girl please, we age just like fine wine!” I proclaimed.
“Well, aiming to be a vintage wine isn’t hot.” Xio said.
“Ugh, I know! I just need time to gather my thoughts some more. Why would I want to open up that part of me again just to get hurt? Hell, he is talking a good game right now. I bet I won’t hear from him now that he sees it isn’t going to be easy.”
“Did he text you last night?” Xio asked.
“Yeah”
“Then his ass is calling today. Mark my words.”
“Well I am not holding my breath.” I said.
“Girl, we will talk later! I gotta get back to work. My boss is clocking me. Ugh can’t stand his fat ass.” Xio said.
“I hear ya! We should go for brunch on Sunday.” I said.
“Let’s do it!” Kayla responded.
“It’s a date! Bye girls!”
-V.
Part 3 coming soon!
I am V. 