I keep taking deep breaths yet I still feel short of breath
Air is not enough to satisfy my hunger
I drink bottles of water right after another yet my throat is still parched
Water is just not enough to quench my unwavering thirst
I am not comfortable being alone
Yet, I want solitude. What gives?
Isolation is not enough when peace is being sought
All to feel like a bottle of soda shaken up.
Ready to explode.
With any slight release of pressure
My emotions are seeping out the cracks
Just dying of some need to vent …. Nothing.
Filled up with nothing
I want to scream but don’t know why
Why do I want to scream?
Why do I want cry?
I tried. My eyes run dry
I go out alone and watch people smile.
I walk around staring
Forcing a fake smile
and say ‘hello’ when I make eye contact with another being
Looking for my inspiration in the nothing
I cook myself dinner and stand at the counter
Eating and drinking alone
In my false sense of peace
In my unwanted wanted solitude.