Women are not always the difficult one. Men can be difficult too. I had a conversation with my sis and we were discussing how men could be so difficult. Not all of them, but there are some that truly make you want to take a sedative and sleep for days and just ignore them and their antics. I may be one of the last few in today’s world that remains old fashioned, more or less, in the world of dating. I am a firm believer of phone calls over text when first getting to know someone, flowers, etc. Now, don’t get me wrong, I can text with the best of them (as my friends will tell you), but when I don’t know you, how am I going to accurately read your texts? I will be committed to continuous misunderstandings. Plus, I have no interest in having text conversations from someone who was “interested” in me as such:

Guy: Hey

Me: Hello, how are you?

Guy: Good. How are you?

Me: I’m doing well, can’t complain.

Guy: cool.

Me: So, anything interesting happened today that made you smile?

Guy: same ole, same ole.

Me: oh alright.

*** 3 hours later, I got a text from guy saying “WYD”- (Dude not talking to you)****

The conversation has ended. Now, I am thinking to myself, why the (insert choice word here) did you text me, in the first place? This to me makes no sense at all. I feel that I am being open and receptive. The guy obviously has nothing to say. I would engage in a text conversation if he continued with something and we can create some sort of dialogue, but even then a phone call is more acceptable. A man that is interested truly in you will want to call you, hear your voice, learn your tone, hear you laugh and then proceed to ask to see you. Now, I have met men that HATE the phone with a passion, and I get it. They will text me more but have something to say and will call me when we haven’t texted all day. That’s fine. The kind of man who is truly interested in you will actually want to see you and make dates to spend time with you in person.

When men consistently ask me “Why are you single?” “You are beautiful, smart and witty, I don’t get it, you crazy?” I laugh. No, I am not crazy. I am single because no one has been bold enough to step correctly and approach me as a man should and court me…and be available in all aspects. Yes I know that is an old term, but I don’t like “holla.”

Don’t even get me started on online dating. I think it is a great avenue to meet people and it works for many. But the issue I have with it is that it gives way too many options for men to just not do right and think they are the crème of the crop. Too many messages in their inbox will have them feeling some kind of way, so if you don’t conform to their antics, then next! And men AND women give false representations of themselves way too many times. People, be real. And online, I notice more fake than real. Hence, why my page stays hidden until the term runs out.

This is where I am today. Uninterested and solely focused on myself. My writing and my career. If a good man comes a long and can turn my head, I’m open. Until then catch me here…pouring out my soul.

-V.

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14 thoughts on “Show Me You, and I’ll Show You, V.

  1. WOW!! U put everything so eleoquently! Hit it all on the head boo! Pow pow pow! Technology is great for so many things but definitely poses quite a bit of challenges especially in ther human relations arena. *sigh*

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The times have definitely changed, and some changes are good; however, keeping it 100 from jump is necessary. Tell them you want to be courted. After all, we teach people how we want to be treated. If we respond to”Holla,” we’re teaching them it’s ok.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Once again I LOVE your articles.
    I believe that we live in a world that tells everyone to be different but encourages you to be the same. Technology is ever increasing it gets better and better but we communicate worse than ever before. If ever you want to be in a relationship with anyone you want to hear the voice you want to hear the sounds that come from their words, the way they pronounce the words and the facial expressions that come with that you want to observe any type of body language or eye contact that helps you to judge the genuineness of the person the sincerity of the person or if you’re just listening to game.

    Foundational truths never change no matter what the time is its like God he’s the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. But we’ve changed, we have progressed, thes time have changed. Our values are remain the same. Except they have been renamed. Names like old-fashioned and out dated . What is old fashioned? It’s honesty, its courtesy and respect, it’s openness and consideration. How can it ever be outdated? Who doesn’t want these things in a relationship?
    Maybe those who don’t want commitment or those who are addicted to being in relationships without having a relationship, those who would rather be with someone rather than be alone. Those with no hope who never expect anything to last. I don’t know what the percentage it’s but I’m guessing it’s pretty big for people in this category.

    So we here one bad story after the other which helps us to have less hope in each other. We build up walls we don’t allow people to really love us and we won’t allow ourselves to love them back. I don’t think we understand what we’re signing up for when we say relationship.

    We’ve been so misinformed with the information that 50% of marriages end in divorce and it is an untruth that has been marketed for so long we quoted as fact. In actuality the Census Bureau reports that actually 70% of people who got married or still married and that’s – the ones that die or became ill or had other events to occur in their lives along with divorce. Statistics also show that married men live longer.

    And if marriage was such a bad thing why are so many others fighting for the right to do so?

    Relationship is more than just being upfront in the beginning. Relationship is about being who you are no matter what. We tend to play a game when we’re dating we put on our best food to get the person to like this and then after they get to know us then they start to see some things that we didn’t disclose in the beginning and it’s kind of hard to describe something because you know right away some of the things that we do and that we are will turn people away from us from the start. So we kind of Bait our suitors, they get trapped in the net and then I realize this is not what they signed up for and then everything kind of goes crazy.

    It’s also not always in them choosing you, you’d better take a good look at them and see if they’re someone that you would choose as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I agree with you 110%! That’s the problem people always show you what you want to hear to get you. It got to a point that now, I won’t even say what I want because that just tells the guy what mask to put on to get me. And after some time that mask falls off. Then disappointment makes an appearance in the relationship that was built on false pretenses. I simply say, show me you. Who are you? Then I will show you who I am. Not my best foot forward, but me in the flesh.
      No one wants to work towards anything anymore. Instant gratification is the name of the game. How about be my friend first?
      And you are right, why are so many people fighting for the right to marry and people claim they don’t want it? The lies they tell girl!
      Relationships, better yet commitment require constant work, and at times hard work in times of disagreements because you are dealing with people in the raw. But it shouldn’t be so difficult all the time. Love is a behavior not a feeling. You display it! And if it’s a conscious effort for one to do so, then almost everything they do should be an act of. The problem is also people don’t recognize that. They love you only if … When we incorporate the only if, the condition in which we are to display love towards another then we are already in it for the wrong reasons.
      Men lie, women lie, numbers don’t! It’s in the stats! It’s in our best interest to marry, the key is to choose wisely as you stated. We weren’t put on this earth to be alone.
      Thank you for your thoughtful reply!!! I love hearing your thoughts! You are so wise Lativia!!!!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. You’re always welcome and I love sharing.

    This time I will proof read my message because I’m dying with laughter at some of what I wrote previously with all the wrong words and errors but it sounds like you understood me perfectly.

    I advise men and women not be so concerned with the finding anyone. When you do what you love they will find you and that’s the key. Relationship thrives on purpose. Purposes drives you to commitment and commitment is the life of the relationship. Find your purpose and the rest will follow. Partner with people with purpose and you will find your spouse.

    They will be right in front of you and you won’t even know it until you know it!

    Liked by 1 person

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