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I am scared to fall in love

‘Like’ freaks me out

The thought of getting hurt again

Is what has kept me in this love drought

I am scared to fall in love

I am starting to like you a bit too much

The anxiety of if you may feel the same

Has got me feeling all types fucked up

I am a ticking time bomb

That is on the road to regression

I was fine in the space I was in

Now, not knowing how you feel

And not being able to ask you to express them

What changed between yesterday and today, is me

I went from “we will see” to

Crying in my bed trying to relax with warm tea

It’s all because I realized I liked you

And I need you to like me…

Sounds so cliché, so elementary

This so all me

This is something I hope you never see

I need to get myself together

This can’t be healthy for my soul

The tears I am crying for fears I am feeling

Shouldn’t be taking control

Why am I scared to love

When it’s all that I’ve asked for

Is it that my soul knows you aren’t right

Or is it the fear of receiving love that is my issue at core

My cancer is love

For many it’s a blessing

For me it’s a false illusion of security that always has me stressing

Over reciprocity?

I need to see a professional

 

-V.

7/25/2016