Not Your Dream Girl

Happy Saturday!

I wanted to share a poem I wrote a couple of years ago when I got frustrated with being let down in whatever relationship I was in. Now that I am back in the world of dating, or lack thereof, I found this and decided to post.

How many times have we heard that good girls finish last, or good guys finish last? It gets old when you are always finishing last. But I say, stay authentic. Stay true to your values and morals and in the right moment, the person will come along. 🙂 Who God has for me will be for me! #faith

Not Your Dream Girl

“You are every man’s dream girl”
Biggest crock of shit if I heard it
Then why are you going to see “her”
If everything you want, I supposedly have it?
“You are so amazing”
Another line that makes me roll my eyes
If thats what it is, then why would you risk me being with another guy?
“I love being around you and your personality is the best”
Oh yea? Then why are you letting me slide past you and risk being passed up for the next?
I’m tired of hearing I’m beautiful and how funny you find me to be
I’m tired of being the best choice for some ideal
And quite frankly
I’m just tired of you not choosing me.

***

My friend told me when I read this to her years ago, that it sounded like lyrics to a song! Maybe I should look into song writing too…the possibilities. 🙂

-V.

23 thoughts on “Not Your Dream Girl”

  5. I love this article and I think every person who is serious about commitment has faced this dilemma. Notice I did say serious about commitment not relationship. It seems easier to be in a relationship of any sort because relationship is not interpreted in terms long term commitment. This may be some of the reason that people seem to move in and out of relationship so easily and frequently as if it is the norm.

    Sometime people who don’t choose you tend to be beneficial because if the shoe were on the other foot you may not have chosen them as well if the option was yours to choose.

    I say that to say this. There are people that you get along with fine they may be nice, funny and cute, but something inside of us tells us that’s not the one regardless off what the eyes see and we should always listen to that no matter what side of the choosing your on.

    One of the greatest lessons that I learned was the value of being with myself. It wasn’t until I became comfortable with being with myself that those of my liking became attracted to me. Then I understood that I was single because I wanted to be not because I had to be.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I love this article and I think every person who is serious about commitment has faced this dilemma. Notice I did say serious about commitment not relationship. It seems easier to be in a relationship of any sort because relationship is not interpreted in terms long term commitment. This may be some of the reason that people seem to move in and out of relationship so easily and frequently as if it is the norm.

    Sometime people who don’t choose you tend to be beneficial because if the shoe were on the other foot you may not have chosen them as well if the option was yours to choose.

    I say that to say this. There are people that you get along with fine they may be nice, funny and cute, but something inside of us tells us that’s not the one regardless off what the eyes see and we should always listen to that no matter what side of the choosing your on.

    One of the greatest lessons that I learned was the value of being with myself. It wasn’t until I became comfortable with being with myself that those of my liking became attracted to me. Then I understood that I was single because I wanted to be not because I had to be.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Lativia! I read your comment and almost dropped my phone and said, let me get to my computer so I can respond correctly!
      What you said spoke volumes to me. And I sat and thought just now, would I have chosen them if the shoe were on the other foot? and knowing what I know about each and every one, the answer is no. So I guess they did do me a favor. And in every “relationship” I always knew in my gut that it wasn’t right. But as most women in search of the commitment, I thought it was just me easily discarding and made myself give it a chance. What I do know now, is to follow my gut from the start, and I am proud to say that today I did just that, and in the past week in a different scenario, I did just that. If it isn’t right and I know it, why choose them for the sake of being in another meaningless relationship.
      There is major value in being alone. And I love it.And maybe, like you said, I have more work to do because what I want isn’t what I am attracting. Emotional unavailability is whats knocking consistently. I think there is a message there for real!

      Thank you for your comment! It was well received and right on time! Sorry for the lengthy reply. lol

      Liked by 1 person

      • You’re welcome!
        I don’t mind the length what ever it takes to get your point across then do so.
        Communication is very necessary.

        In my time of singleness I discovered a me that I never knew. I was too busy making everyone else happy or supporting their cause. I realized I was giving to other people what I was not giving to my self.

        I was not so fond of the things that society says I should be fond of, and I didn’t desire to accomplish the goals that they say I should be achieving at that time. So I decided to completely ignore what others thought was best for me and I dealt with the issues in my life at hand. Once that was completed, I found peace.

        I found that if I didn’t fix what was broken in my current situation no amount of accomplishment, money or status would bring peace or joy to my life and I couldn’t enjoy success at any level.

        Always trust your inner self when all else fails you’ve got you and that’s ok.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yes and that should always be ok! Hence why I started writing again and decided on this blog! Instead of doing what everyone else thinks is best, I’m following my passion! I don’t need my MBA in health admin or whatever else degree I have to be creative! I’m growing more fond of my creativity and it keeps me up at night. I’m finding way more interest in that than fooling up with any man who is wasting my time!
        Kudos to you for ignoring what society says and following your heart and doing what made you happy! In the end it’s your life not society’s!
        Becoming more spiritual is another journey I am embarking as well and I tell you, it feels amazing!

        Liked by 1 person

  7. I would also like to add that you are a very intelligent and beautiful woman. This a process and time is the enemy. You’re well on your way to getting what you want. Acknowledging your concerns and proactively seeking solutions as you’re doing now will provide you much insight. Take what you need and stay vigilant but relaxed. It will all come together.
    Remember to always be true to you!

    Liked by 1 person

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