Today’s assignment in my writing101 class is to find inspiration from a picture. I chose the picture of a crowded train station. I see this and it reminds me of home. New York City. The city that never sleeps. I loved Penn Station and watching the people rush by and at times I was also rushing to catch my train. Other times, I would take my time and just people watch. You see so many things at a busy train station. People annoyed and cursing at other, people strolling as if they were on vacation, others kissing and saying goodbye and some excited to see loved ones they have been waiting for.
But I when really stop and look, I see a world where people fail to stop and see the bigger picture. We get so caught up in our daily living that we fail to see what truly matters. Love. Family. We rush to meet that deadline for work, we rush to make it class on time, to get dinner fixed, society is always in a rush. This scene reminds me that we need to pause. Take a step back and enjoy the beauty of where we actually are.
On days, when I was off from work and my son was in school, I drove to the train station and parked and took the F train from Queens to Manhattan. I enjoyed the ride. Watching people get on and off the train. I would get off and head to the park in the concrete jungle and sit on a bench with a book and my Café Mocha from Starbucks and escape the reality of my two jobs, and how I was going to make all my bills that month, how to deal with the relationship I was in with this man I was not in love with. I sat there on that bench for a couple of hours and forgot about all my problems. I did my best thinking on that bench. I was at peace in the midst of all those people. No one really saw me. I was invisible and I loved it.
I am writing this and I feel like I am there. I can still smell the city. I can still taste the Café Mocha, feel the pages of that Eric Jerome Dickey book I was reading. I miss that feeling. I miss home. I miss finding my peace in the moment of pause.